To the Love of my Life

“If  all else perished, and *she remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and *she were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger.” Emily Bronte (Wuthering Heights)

*reworded 'he' to 'she'

The  night was long, the pain was unimaginable, and the nurses barely spoke English but I assured myself that childbirth is as universal as breathing so everything will be fine.

After two hours of excruciating pain, you arrived. Thanks to you for not letting me  undergo  longer than that. The whole birth experience was something that I hope to keep indelibly imprinted in mind. Should nature intervene and give me dementia, of all memories, I hope she will spare you and that day. And you know what I did by the first time I laid eyes on you? I planted a kiss on your face.

Today  you  turn  1.  I  would  love  to  hear from you how exactly are you feeling.  Lately,  I  can sense that you are trying to make a conversation. You love to touch  people’s  faces, point your little finger at my mole, scratch the walls, hold your neon green toy shovel as if your life depended on  it  (of  all  your  toys?!), and  constantly likes to be watched or accompanied  every  single  second  (which  is  the exact opposite whenever you’re in daycare).

In  your  younger months, the two of us spent most of every day together. I had my frustrations and postpartum which are normal for a new mom and being hands-on without much help from others was not at all easy. In spite of that, I have no  regrets. You  kept  me  alive and inspired  to be better. In fact, I could not be happier spending your first 8 months with me.

You are now officially a toddler, and lately added ‘play’ as a favourite pastime. Enjoy it! I confess that sometimes I do miss your baby self. The tiny person dressed in onesies that would send me panicking at a loud cry.

But don’t grow up so fast. Ever since I went back to working, our time spent together are limited to weekends and whatever little time left before you sleep at night on weekdays. Forgive me if that is not enough but I’m doing this for us. I dream big because of us. I actually can’t wait to travel and see the rest of the world with you.

I  look  forward  to  holding hands with you while walking (and wearing matching outfits) --- but I can wait because I don’t want you to rush getting old (let me tell you that being a kid without a care in the world is still the best time…EVER). So take time learning in your own little ways, have your knees bruised from crawling but please no more head banging.

Like I said  before, I cannot promise you the world but I can assure you that you are my world.

happy birthday to us!

I officially turned 3#>#?! two days ago while Amber here is four days shy of her first birthday. 

Haru desu ne.

'Haru' means Spring in Nihonggo. Just because I can't think of a better title.

Anyway, April will be a very busy month for me. First, there's the cost evaluation meeting for a proposal this coming Thursday, my birthday on Friday, Amber's 1st birthday celebration the week after, and the home leave before this month ends (which was strategically set to include Japan's Golden week).

In my previous post, I have mentioned how excited I was for the Hanami (being Amber's first). Well, it didn't turn out as planned. We failed to set a picnic under Sakura trees for the weather had been cloudy and the three of us had been with colds. In my case, I have had flu thrice since January this year in spite of religiously drowning myself with Vitiamin C.

In Kasai rinkai koen, Tokyo. We were too early for Sakura trees to bloom. Taken two weeks ago. 

Taken from the office grounds.

Taken two days ago on my way to work. With the strong winds and hard rainfall last Wednesday (I was soaking wet!),   the sidewalks were covered in pink.

In other news, I lost weight. I finally reached my target. When I arrived here, I was around 50kgs. And just last month, having felt my pants no longer fit me snugly, the weighing scale in the office clinic confirmed that I now weigh 46.9kgs. Mission accomplished.

So how did I do it? Walking. The home is around 15 to 20 mins by walk from/to station (depends on one's pace). In terms of food, I avoided chocolates (hence, whatever chocolates I have received in the office are categorized as trash). I tend to prefer fish in meals and minimal rice intake.

This getting old stuff is seriously affecting me. I even changed my whole beauty regimen, LOL! Yes, I've read about the whole 'no tap water' on the face idea and have applied it for three weeks now. So far, it's effective. My face is not flaky and most probably, it has to do with my current change in moisturizer brand as well. This will need a separate post for I am way off topic now.